“Routine is what you do, and, rhythm is how you are in what you do”
“Our rhythm prepares us to live true to who we really are”
The morning was very much a free flow of discussion beginning with Alison asking if everyone understood what it means to have a rhythm and what sort of rhythm people felt they currently have.
One participant shared her rhythm used to come from her nervous system which left her feeling burnt out. By developing a more supportive rhythm and not feeling she has to be a certain way or complete all the tasks, she is experiencing that she actually has more time.
Another recognised that when she was lecturing she used to go into a different space and her body felt exhausted. Now she is making a point of staying with herself, in spite of any chaos around her and she can feel she is more energised and much more able to respond in the moment – a gorgeous reflection of the difference between being task oriented and focusing on an end result versus being present with you in each moment.
Throughout life we all have different things going on which offers great learning, we have to be more reflective sometimes, which can be a cycle in itself. For example we may recognise we’re numbing our body for some reason and need to instigate a new rhythm. It’s not necessarily a bad thing - the fact that we’re aware of what we’re doing is great, so we are working with it on a certain level. We can be very hard on ourselves – it’s important to give ourselves the opportunity to observe and digest things. “It’s when we bury things that we develop sickness from not wanting to take responsibility for what’s happening.” Katie Walls
“We are also influenced by the people in our homes and what is going on for them, where do you hold your rhythm with you and where are you affected by other people’s rhythms? You can have a good day and be quite centered with yourself, then your partner comes home or you get a phone call with a friend and they have ‘stuff going on’ and suddenly you find yourself in their rhythm, meaning you have taken on what is going on for them. We may not even be aware straight away, but then find yourself not feeling so great.” Katie Walls
“The stronger our rhythm, the deeper our foundation is with our rhythm, therefore, the harder it is to get ‘knocked’ off our rhythm and if we are, the easier it is to come back. It’s incredibly beautiful how our bodies naturally want to live with a flow, there is an exquisiteness inside our body with our bodily cycles working together in such harmony, as with us in our world with all the cycles going on around us with day and night and in nature. The more we allow our own natural rhythm we are actually in rhythm with the whole universe and we have to work so hard not to be in that rhythm which is very significant and exhausting. When we allow ourselves to fully comprehend that, it shows how everything constellates to support us being in our rhythm. We have to bring in a significant amount of sabotage to stop that.” Alison Pearson.
“Looking at our world, everything is set up for us to be focusing on looking outside of ourselves, putting others first. There is such power in looking after ourselves and working out ‘what works for me’, putting ourselves as a priority we are then available for all the people in our lives. When you are looking after your body, you are more present and more in the moment, more able to connect with people and sense what is needed. If we made this our focus in life then a lot of our troubles and worries wouldn’t be there.” Katie Walls
My fear of conflict get’s in the way, I like to keep things peaceful. It’s a big challenge to express myself, but I know I will feel better if I do
“The reason we don’t feel good when we don’t express is that we’re holding back truth, the truth is there to share with everyone, it harms us and everyone else as well if we don’t. Always know that when you’re sharing how you feel, that is the truth. If someone else reacts, that is their issue and their ‘stuff’ to deal with. The fear of how others may react is often worse than saying it, when we hold back we are preventing the possibility of change.” Alison Pearson.
“Self doubt, - how do we deal with people who are doing things we don’t like? For example, gossiping.”
“As a society we are built to not evolve, everything is built to keep us in a rhythm that isn’t necessarily supportive. Technology is advancing in such an incredible way and it can be used to support or it can be used to totally take you out. People have Facebook addictions, unable to sleep at night for fear of missing out or not being ‘informed’. There’s also video game epidemic, especially with teenage boys. So much is skewed for us not to be in connection with people, to not challenge ourselves but to stay in a rhythm that is not supportive. Therefore, we can feel how important expression truly is.” Katie Walls.
“In our relationships, if we are not expressing we are suppressing the opportunity to be in a deeper relationship. In our relationship with our partner or close friends we have a construct, we come together, very few of us are whole, we are going through a healing process to come back to that, as we’ve separated from it, but we have needs, dependencies, patterns. We come together and make a ‘whole’, it doesn’t mean a healthy whole, whatever one person’s needs are, they are being met, even if it’s chaotic. There is an arrangement and we don’t challenge each other, it’s only when we start the healing process on ourselves that we can feel and recognise when things don’t feel ok, that we’re holding back because we’re fearful. It feels yucky in our body because we’re holding poison from not expressing. What we’re saying is we’re already reading in advance the reactions our partner/friends are going to have, but we’re not giving the relationship the opportunity to go to the next level, we can stay where we are and be happy with this, knowing it’s not the full me, or give the other person the chance to go to a deeper level with me. The love then keeps deepening in all your relationships, it may be too much for some people, that’s ok. We are too invested in the ‘arrangement’ so we avoid going there.” Katie Walls
“Everyone can relate to self-doubt, the more we allow ourselves to express bit by bit, we can feel we can’t not express as we feel the love for our self increase. You realise you’re offering a healing, they may react, but doubt is sabotage, it’s a convenient way of not going there. There is no right or wrong, how we feel is the truth. Right and wrong causes so much conflict in life.” Katie Walls
“We are not mind readers, if I’m hurt by something but don’t share how I’m feeling, the other person may just think I’m annoyed. Something may have happened in my childhood, causing me to have enormous sensitivity around what this person has touched on, if I don’t address this with the other person, on some level it starts to affect the relationship, walls start to be built.” Alison Pearson
“People pleasing, or being too much in the ‘outer world’ or worrying about what my role is or what people think, really whacks me out, it’s about learning to live authentically and know who I am and be that person. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and share how I feel with someone when they have hurt me”. This deepens relationships and allows them to go to a whole new level, it allows the other person to feel that they have the same tenderness and sensitivity. We can get used to being comfortable and not wanting to rock the boat, but this is very suffocating.” Alison Pearson.
“This is why a lot of people feel very lonely in their lives in spite of being in a relationship, with children, lots of friends, things happening, but there is emptiness as we’ve neglected that relationship with our selves, that authentic person. The body is black and white, on a cellular level, it knows what connection is, if we’re not living it, it doesn’t matter how many friends we have, it exposes that the quality isn’t there, of being authentic, of expressing how you feel. This is why a lot of women can feel they are having a mid life crisis when their children are older and don’t need them in the same way anymore, the emptiness is felt and can’t be suppressed anymore, it’s a beautiful healing opportunity to start working on the relationship with yourself. A new car, job, a holiday isn’t going to address the issue.” Katie Walls.
“Really check in with what your flavour of personal sabotage is, there can be such potential in a relationship. It may be rocky, but one may be at a point to work with life patterns of resistance, but it takes two, one may want to take the step and the other will go no. We need to respect that as well, it’s free will the whole time, but someone has to go first. When we have the awareness then we have a responsibility to express - when you have the insight to see what’s happening and the potential that’s there, sometimes people just need a bit of support, it may be a bit tense, but there is the opportunity to have so much more honesty in the relationship.” Katie Walls.
“Sometimes people just twist things, twisting what has been said … the more you reveal, the more it can get abused . . .”
“That needs to be called out, it’s a flavour of sabotage. If we allow abuse, this is our self-sabotage. If we allow it in our relationship and we’re not expressing, this is abuse. The level of abuse in our world is completely out of control, what is going on in the way of words, the abuse through expression can be far greater than the level of physical abuse occurring. When we go deeper with the relationship with ourselves, and call out abuse, it constellates that we attract people who are open to going deeper level too.” Katie Walls.
“When we don’t call out abuse, it will continue to come to us, through other people as well. The abuse follows us until we are prepared to deal with it and close the hole for the energy to attack us.” Alison Pearson.
“The only way to address abuse is through self-love, hence we have to make our self the top priority, then we can start seeing what’s abuse, before, you don’t even know it’s abuse, we’re living the abuse to our selves. The more you develop self love you can’t help but call out the abuse.” Katie Walls.
“Feeling when things are out of kilter, when someone speaks to you harshly in a conversation, or bad language, music, road rage, there’s a sensitivity and you can feel the harshness . . .”
“If I have a friend who is gossiping and I don’t stop them, I don’t partake, but I have big ears and listen for half an hour, is that a co-dependency?”
“Absolutely, because you are not wanting to ruffle the other person, this is a type of dependency on that relationship. You are then dropping yourself to that vibration, so you’re letting that poison into your body. You think you’re not agreeing or disagreeing, but you’re agreeing by not saying anything. It may feel confronting, but it is, if we’re not addressing what’s being discussed, we’re just as ‘in it’ as the other person.”
We don’t like the responsibility in this but everything in life is either offering healing or harming
“Everything that comes out of our mouth is a vibration, the heavier, denser vibrations, which is what we’re talking about or the lighter vibration that isn’t harming someone. Some people will only use the lower vibrations, they are in truth naturally a higher vibration, but they want to keep themselves where they are and not evolve above that. They will find people who are that vibration. You can never pull another person down, they must choose to drop to a lower vibration. No wonder people give up in life and have issues with commitment – when someone reflects something different and has that commitment in their eye, you can just feel it. It awakens up your nadis, it awakens you on a cellular level – what you know to be true has just been confirmed by someone else” Katie Walls.
“Even looking at the stars, or walking outside in nature, you may have just left a space that felt really dense and heavy, being outside you can feel that there is so much more, so much more that we are a part of, that we may not fully understand, but it’s enough for us to know that everything that’s going on around us, that doesn’t feel right, it’s not ok. We are so much more, we are truly magnificent and to settle for anything less is not ok.” Alison Pearson.
The more we all start to speak up, our norm will change, the world will shift as we will all feel the ripple effect from this and feel that it’s safe to speak up. When we feel overwhelmed and wonder what we can do to change things, it’s this: you just live it - your emanation of that is huge, due to the ripple effect – it’s touching many people through one situation of someone choosing to speak up.
“On a conscious plane level, all of our thoughts are either contributing to the pollution, or they’re supporting healing. Not to be hard on ourselves, but our thoughts patterns can change enormously even within an hour, you can go from having a good day to being in self-doubt, degrading yourself. So, something has happened in our rhythm that has shifted to allow in a negative thought process. Everything is rhythm, everything is not going to be perfect, that’s ok, we can learn from it. It’s a constant refinement, being aware.” Katie Walls
“With food preparation, it’s important not to leave our selves out and focus on what others want to eat, but to include food that is very nurturing and nourishing for us, with extra to take into work for the next day even. Food is one of the biggest areas where we can self-sabotage – it can take us out so quickly. Yet when someone prepares food with love, it’s amazing what everyone suddenly enjoys when it’s been prepared so beautifully and it’s not even so much about what’s in it, it’s the quality that it was prepared in that makes it so yummy.” Alison Pearson.
“With regard to our rhythm, the loving care that you put into making your bed in the morning is what you feel when you get back into bed at night, it’s like giving yourself a hug. When we are in the shower, it’s so beautiful to be very present with yourself and enjoy the gentleness of your touch as you wash your skin. This is how we deepen our relationship with our self and deepen our rhythm. Our rhythm is about bringing the essence of us to everything we’re doing. The connection with us is key.” Alison Pearson.
“It’s really cool to start allowing ourselves to feel how our body feels when we eat certain foods, when we cook for our family, it’s so easy to drop our vibration through food. This is where we feel into what supports and what doesn’t, we’re all at different stages and if we’re just in a routine, there is no flexibility to feel that today you may feel sad, so I have to care for myself in a way that really acknowledges that, that supports me to be more of who I am.” Katie Walls.
“When we wake up, most people wake up with a certain level of anxiousness that they don’t even know they have so when they get out of bed with that, they take that into their day. It’s lovely to have a moment in bed to check in and feel how you are, then you can meet yourself in a quality that supports that. Some days it’s ok to move faster because you’re feeling vital, whereas other days those movements would drain you. So often we’re not present with ourselves. There’s so much mental activity that goes on and that’s sabotaging as it wants to take us away from our body as our body is all powerful, it’s black and white, it does not lie to us.” Katie Walls
“The more you develop your rhythm, what you choose to wear completely changes . . . I surprise myself with what I put together and wonder ‘how did I think to put those things together?’ – but that’s just the point, I’m not ‘thinking’, it’s totally impulse, there’s a playfulness and it’s so much fun.” Alison Pearson
“I always used to do my hair the same way, using the same product, but I didn’t really like how it looked, one morning I didn’t try to do my hair in a certain way and it naturally fell to the other side and looked so amazing. It’s about allowing things to happen, for them to be different, letting go of the control.” Alison Pearson
“Control doesn’t allow a rhythm that supports where we’re at, it keeps us held and less than who we are.”
“I have so many clothes and had a lot that I wasn’t wearing, so I started throwing some away and it felt so liberating, but it was also agonizing as some of them were very nice. But if they didn’t support me, it didn’t matter how expensive they were”.
“With clothes, it’s not about how it looks, it’s about how it feels, and how you feel in it, because that’s how you then show yourself to the world . . .”
“And that’s how we can very much sabotage ourselves with clothes, because we often wear things that don’t ask us to be more, but instead to blend in and not to stand out.” Katie Walls
“With our morning rhythm, it’s important to feel into whether we need breakfast or not, sometimes it may just make us feel sluggish whereas on other days we may be hungry and it feels very supportive to eat before we start our day. There has been a belief that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, however, it’s up to us to find our own rhythm with food and to work out what best supports us. We are evolving all the time so what supports us now may not in a few months time. When we are living in motion we need a lot more food as we go into our nervous system. If you’re feeling you’re bloating, you need to consider how you’re eating, what energy are you in, it’s not just due to the food we are eating. If we’re holding back and not expressing it causes bloating in the body.” Katie Walls.
“I found that after work I would come home and want to eat something, but it wasn’t because I was hungry, it felt like I was trying to numb myself from the day. I have been observing the times during the day when I really, really want to eat something, there is almost an urgency, and it’s not because I’m hungry, it’s in reaction to something.” Alison Pearson.
“The more you work on not being in reaction, the less food you need. It’s up to us all to feel into how much food we need, eating appropriately for you for where you are at. A lot of people have commented on feeling they want to eat when they come into their house from their day but haven’t felt the need to snack when out. This can reflect that there is a tension there within the relationships in the home. You’re feeling certain patterns or things you have to deal with or you’re anticipating something. The easiest way to numb yourself is with food.” Katie Walls
“When there is something in our rhythm that does not support, the more self-love we allow, we will reach a point where we say: ‘I just can’t do that anymore’ and we will make the change coming from our self-love, not from a feeling of ‘I should’, rather from, ‘I don’t want to’.” Katie Walls
This event was on Friday 13th October 2017